I use to cry at night…despite the fact that…
I was doing wrong…. since I… longed for the attention of a man..
Or…if you will…that male figure to love me unconditionally...
The way I would do him…
but my…. self-centered reactions showed actions of me being a sinner..
As a beginner I pondered the reasons I tried so hard to..stay uplifted when..
Tables shifted but I would… turn to my pride…
I was common to your actions so my satisfactions were delayed…
And as many times.. I lived in a solitary mind…
I was really in solitary confinement…
So I just play the hand I made…
like it was a game of spades..
wishing I could trade the man I…
laid with…
and I just…
go by day by day…wishing I could say…
that you were the man I stayed with…
And I just…
live that prayer I prayed…
Knowing I have made…you breathless.
My apologies are not accepted….
My repentance has been neglected by you…
But all because I let it slip through…
My fingers…
You took me back so many times…
After I declined your cries endless…
And I think back line for line…
how our…
Arguments were all senseless…
But my gestures have made you… a grown man relentless..
Like im in non-existence... a historical image of we…
But I understand your reasons…
To give up the situation…
After all… you were waiting for me…
Written by Frstladylsm